Allowing failure shapes us more than easily won success. I KNOW this is true from my own journey in life but that moment when her team was 1 point down, there were 2 seconds left on the clock, and Evy had 2 free throws I SOOO wanted her to make it.
I wanted her to have that moment. That moment of making the shot & feeling on top of the world- in 4th Grade world.
After the first shot bounced off the rim I held my breath. The second had the same fate and I watched her face tell the story of failure. Evy tried her hand at basketball this year by joining the park district team. She has learned a lot and her goal for the season was to make a basket. She surpassed that goal but this moment seemed to erase her small successes during the season. We hugged her and reminded her that it sucks. That she played well. That we are proud of her. And I was tempted to wish the failure away.
Her coach looked her straight in the eyes of her tear stained face and told her “that was not your fault Evy- we win and lose as a team.” He also texted Jason an hour later to make sure she was fine (Thanks Nick- you are great leader for our kids).
On the car ride home I caught this moment of her looking out the window. It was a quiet (rare in our home and mini van) moment that reminded me yet again that we learn more from failure that we do from easily won success. We told Evy that we see her in her sadness about missing her shots AND we also know she is strong and can learn and grow from it. Every time I parent our kids with these words it is like I am reminding myself too. In case you need encouragement today friends- failure is hard. And necessary for growth. You can do hard things. Failure is not wasted. It shapes us and grows us up and we must allow room for our kids AND ourselves to fail in order to become….
Here is to scrappy failure,