“Mama, so what is your job anyway?” our 5 year old asked & my first reaction was to feel defensive that he did not SEE my “jobs” in our everyday.
But I actually realized it is hard for a 5 year old to appreciate the nuisance of the Scrappy Mama Hustle. It was a tough week & my confidence took a hit at losing out on a great gig (and of course my mind only dwelled there and NOT on the amazing opportunities I did book). I had to quit doing all.the.things and ask for help to rest after a rough day of MS symptoms that are an ever-present & sucky reminder that I cannot just “push through.” I felt trapped & stuck & not good enough. But because God is gracious He did not allow me to remain there.
It did make me pause to reflect about titles & how we define ourselves. I am a photographer and visual storyteller with Hawa Images, and as of recently a substitute at our local Jr High (because I have missed the classroom too much!), & a shampoo slinger with Monat. Plus, I mostly keep my people alive & that’s a FULL time job (Can I get an AMEN hand clap?!).
But none of these titles tell the story of me- and friend- whatever title(s) you place on yourself do not fully tell your story either. We are each so much more.
It is hard to not compare our selves to someone else that seems to be doing it bigger, better, faster. I’m guilty of that for sure & I am constantly aware of my need to take a deep breath & remember to be grateful for where we are RIGHT now.
I think that is one reason I love photography because it can only tell the story of our right now with a reckless disregard for the future or past. And, in my opinion, if done with care, creativity, & presence can be done with a posture of gratefulness. There is no room for self-pity in thanksgiving for all we already have & all we already are. I want to live being ever aware & thankful for the abundance of my life & thus being free to celebrate that in your lives.
So if you are felling stuck like I was in that moment don’t allow yourself to remain there; serve someone with kindness that cannot be repaid, ask for help, get our of the house or stay in and rest, apply for that job, invest in an uncommon friendship, start small or jump into the big scary thing, go back to school, start your own business or side hustle and be patient. Above all commit to never stop growing and never “arrive.” I want to increase my capacity for learning & take risks which means the only guarantee is failure. But that is ok because failure & weakness are part of the deal & both are great teachers & resilience makers. And God is good. He never fails us. So, I’m a Scrappy Mama Hustler who is for sure failing, learning, & I got this. And so do you friend.