Yesterday I went to a wedding. It was actually my first Christian wedding after attending tons of Muslim ones so it was yet another new cultural experience for me. It was even in a Catholic church that was built during colonial times in town. I went solo since it was sure to be a LONG affair and J volunteered to stay with the girls at home. Being there alone gave me more time to think and take everything in.
During the entire thing I kept thinking “I am missing Jill’s wedding.” I was able to hold it together out of necessity and with the rush of activity afterwards (including me suddenly being a part of all wedding photos…Mzungus are definitely a novelty) but this morning during our prayer and worship time I lost it. Like had to look at the ceiling and breath deeply while using the crumpled baby wipe I stuck in my purse to blow snot ugly crying lost it. The part about living here and following this leading is that there are times, like today, that I physically ache because I miss my dear ones so much. I just wish I was there. For her. For me to be a part of this awesome day. Jill, you are a beautiful, strong, vibrant, compassionate, amazing woman and I am privileged to count you as a sister. We started crushing (ok, maybe stalking) on our French TA in college all those years ago and now we have seen each other through so much; Habitat trips, finishing school, searching for jobs, moving (several times), complaining about our jiggly butts :), leading a trip to Africa together, struggling to find meaning, my getting married, both your parents going home, me having babies, you finishing grad school, me moving to Africa, God redeeming so much pain, you meeting the one and falling in love, and now you are getting hitched!!! You have always inspired me to dig deep, love more, be real and vulnerable, and follow Jesus with everything I have. Plus, you dig cute shoes so how could we not be destined soul sistas?And I am here cheering you both on. And praying.
Ok, now I am ugly crying again….. Happy wedding day dear sister!!
I've been thinking about you this weekend too – the camera is ready to go and my paparatzzi finger is trigger happy. You'll be missed but we'll do our best to celebrate with your spirit (perhaps another butt photo?) And can I just say I love the reverse circus freakness that is let's put a white person in our wedding photo just for kicks. Hugs to you dear!
š ohhhh i love you SO much! it was so incredible to get to talk with you on sunday morning before the wedding. thank you so much! i was thinking of you and wishing you could see the Big Day, but trust me, there will be PLENTY of photos! and, unfortunately, one facebook video of me dancing to “super freak” – it's called “this bride's a super freak” and it's on tammia's page…love you so much! thanks for the bloglove!
the bride IS such a super freak. wish you could have been there too Rox! hopefully there's some video of the ceremony so you can get to appreciate the awesome Bono quote that got worked in, and the giggling, and the tears. ~much love, tammia