the end of an era: Mother Daughter Dates

“Mother Daughter Dates” has been an era for our family.

I did these series of dates with all three of our girls and Rayne’s last date was this week. These dates are all about being intentional about letting our girls know they are beautifully unique and dearly loved by their Creator and us. We want to help them embrace how loved and lovely they are and remind them to seek God in everything as they grow.  The world will offer them so many lies about who they are and who they should be and our prayer has always been they know how deeply they are loved by God. It has been a joy doing these dates and seeing how much the girls grow up throughout the process. Some of the actual content of the dates has changed too as I have grown as a mother throughout the last ten years too.

I wrote this 10 years ago, “God has been teaching me again and again that good intentions are not enough in this life.  I have many great intentions but I grow apathetic, lazy, or just plain tired and I allow life to get in the way.  I want to stand in the gap or my kids and allow them to know I am so for them.  I want them to know they are “wonderfully and fearfully made.”  But I know I cannot just hope this happens and I cannot do it alone, I am so grateful I can join with other women that want to be present for our girls as they grow and learn and face challenges.  And we are committed to being there for each other’s girls because as they grow they might not always be able to talk to us.  Girls need lots of women cheering them on.  I’m so blessed that I have sisters to join me in this journey of raising girls.”

I am so grateful for the women in my life that are a part of my parenting journey. A group of dear friends and I started this Mother Daughter Dates with me 10 years ago.   

These same friends sent books in the mail this week with notes for Annikah as she heads off to college. It is wild how fast it goes and I am so grateful for friendships that allow me to mother in community. We have all grown and changed over time as our daughter’s have as well and what remains true is that raising girls to know what it means to be women takes community.

This last date is so sweet because it is a culmination of all the dates and involves their father too.

Jason rang the doorbell to take her and I to dinner as he has done with Annikah and Evangeline. He opened the car door and took us out at restaurant of her choice teaching our girls how they should expect to be treated. During dinner we had special questions to help us have meaningful reflection on the 5 dates we had as mother daughter with our group of friends.

Here are some moments from the 5 dates:

The other dates discuss lies our culture tells us about beauty with real talk about unrealistic beauty standards, what God’s word says about true beauty, appreciating beauty in our world, artistic expression in nature and art, fashion and expressing ourselves, the importance of building community around encouragement and abundance.

The last date we ask these questions over dinner:

• Father: your daughter has been on a journey about learning about her beauty and what God has to say about her and about beauty standards in the world. What is one beautiful thing you see about her heart?
• Father: God, carefully and precisely created your beautiful daughter, describe the first moment you saw her.
• Daughter: Tell me about one thing you learned about the fashion industry?
• Daughter and Mother: Share something you learned that God‘s word says about beauty?
• Mother & Father: How did you fall in love? How did you know you would get married? How did you find out you were going to have me/ adopt me?
• Daughter: How can you reach out to friends in this group in the future? What is important when choosing friends?
• Mother & Daughter: What was your favorite memory of these times together? What was your favorite date and why?
• Mother & Father: What is your prayer or one of your prayers for me as a young woman?
• Daughter: What questions do you have you can ask? of God? Of us?
• For all 3:  The thing I most struggled to believe that God says about me is……When do you feel most loved by me and by God?

Seeing Rayne be so proud to share what she learned about what God says about her as a created and dearly loved young woman was a moment where; despite of all the difficulties and challenges or parenting and all of my own faults and weaknesses, I knew that THIS is what matters. Rayne shared of her value & worth & beauty and used her scrapbook to proudly tell Jason all we did over the course of the past year. Each one of the girls creates a scrapbook of the dates and memories including notes from the other young ladies and mothers. We shared encouragements and what we love about each person that has to do with WHO THEY ARE- not superficial things.  We practice encouraging and sheering other women.

Girls need lots of women cheering them on. They need reminders about their created value and worth- we all do. 

See other dates here and here. If you have any questions ask away or message me and I will send more of what we did on each date your way.