I have no need to lie- no desire to preserve some image that I used to think gave me value because I know more & more of my value & worth. I’m confident in the knowledge that God is not done with me AND He is not weary of me in my weakness either. The truth is that I struggle through a lot of anxiety on infusion days. I’ve realized one of the reasons is these days remind me that I’m sick and chronically sick. That this rhythm in my life has to be there because this other massive part of my life is there and present. But here is what I also know it is an invitation to live more abundantly and fully while I’m here. Here’s the real truth: each one of us is dying no matter how old we are our bodies are going to fail us sooner or later but life is a gift and God is inviting us to live in the tension of joy and sorrow every day. I also know a life free from trouble is never promised or a sign of a good life. In my suffering I am being transformed. I am grateful for family, friends, good medical care & I have perspective on just how much of that is a gift.
𝙇𝙞𝙛𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙤𝙢 𝙞𝙣 𝙧𝙚𝙛𝙪𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙤 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙡𝙚𝙨𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙭. 𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙛𝙡𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙖𝙨 𝙬𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙 𝙨𝙪𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜? 𝙊𝙪𝙧 𝙬𝙤𝙧𝙡𝙙 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙨 𝙪𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙚𝙞𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙅𝙤𝙮 𝙤𝙧 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙛 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙬𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙡𝙞𝙫𝙚 𝘼𝘽𝙐𝙉𝘿𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙇𝙔 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙝.