Even though you are surrounded by people it is possible to feel lonely. Today that is me.
Over the past week we have been spending a lot of time with people here which has been great but exhausting as well. Especially since the “terrible twos” have decided to reside at our home and show no signs of leaving. I can only describe this phenomenon as everything said terrible two-er wants I don’t have or cannot provide quick enough and everything I request of her is apparently akin to torture. Then 30 seconds later the reverse is true and the game changes; she wants whatever was offered and despised a minute ago. We are tired. It makes it more difficult to deal with when we are surrounded by people. Everyone here is so kind to her but they also treat her like an angel even when she is behaving terribly and it is difficult for us to maintain our version of discipline. And Miss A has figured that out. I keep reminding myself this is why we are here; to learn about the culture, spend time with people, to work on the school, live and work with everyone God brings across our path. And most days we do love it but today I am just at a place of weariness. This past week has been nuts. We were welcomed into homes, fed, and fed again, invited to parties, had people over, visited a village, and spent time with neighbors. But even with all the interaction I feel a bit lonely right now. It could be PMS, or a combo of that and my homesickness at the moment but it is just the way I feel, the space I am occupying right now.
I miss home. I miss all things familiar. I miss my family. I miss my girlfriends. I miss my Mama friends. I miss calling them up and being understood and listening and talking and venting and laughing and spending time together. I would not trade this experience for our family for anything but at least for today I just miss being me in the context of home.