No doubt she is the biggest blessing to me but since she showed up I feel like life is crazy most days. I now FINALLY understand why all of my “mommy” friends were so unreliable and I am proof that God has a sense of humor. So many times I thought to myself “I will still be able to handle everything” or “how can one little baby change so much” HA! OK, God, I get it. I repent of my caviler attitude about how much a baby changes your life. I actually thought you could “be prepared” for a baby. Now don’t get me wrong I still believe in the value of reading some books, talking to other moms, and maybe even taking a birthing class. (Although, as an aside, after my husband and I attended our first birthing class together and saw some video that boarded on birthing porn i distinctly remember saying thru tears “I am not having this baby” to which my hubby so smartly and keenly responded as he looked down at my 8 month prego belly “Yep, honey, I think you are”). Anyway, I do see the value in all these things but none of them adequately prepared me for this journey. I guess that is how it should be though. The best and most difficult things in life should take our breath away and force us to dig and find out what we are made of. So, I guess that is what this blog will be about. The search for me in the midst of mommy.