call me a conspiracy theorist

Ok, so I have been known to love a good conspiracy theory….
I think I should be considered for medical evaluation as I think I was actually pregnant in my butt and thighs. No, seriously! The medical community should take this seriously, search me out, put me on that crazy “Medical Mysteries” show, or at least look into my condition as I think my butt and thighs think a baby is still in there. Billy Blanks and I have our daily meetings (I have to be honest here he is way more peppy than I about our rendezvous), I’ve cut back on eating everything in sight but still a stubborn 10 pounds hovering, laughing, mocking…. I also think my old pants are getting in on this gig and conspiring against me. I tried to neatly put them away so as not to have to look at them until I am emotionally ready but every time I look for a purse I forgot about, pair of shoes I have neglected… there they are…..starring at me…reminding me…..Oh well, I think I’ll go eat some chips and salsa to forget all about this!