When things fall apart and you feel like quitting… …Is it failure or feedback?

Storytime: I recently invested in some new bougie lighting. I was confident I could teach myself how to use it because over and over again in the last 10 years of business, I have put in the work to learn new things and have been committed to improvement. Heck, I started my photography business by searching YouTube for “how to blur the background of a photo” and then going out and practicing on my kids at the park.

Back to me fumbling with trying to set up a softbox…

After multiple calls with support, watching videos, and trying for over two hours, I found myself crying in my office, thinking the natural solution is to completely quit my business and never again try something new ever again.

As a BIG feeler, that’s a pretty normal reaction which is okay to have and acknowledge. It just shouldn’t be what defines my action or the moments after that feeling.

Instead of accepting defeat, I took a deep breath and then took a break. I ate something, went on a walk, and prayed. After some perspective I realized that although the lighting was and is much harder than I initially thought, this was not a massive fail. It was feedback.

I now know I will need more time and possibly a mentor to help me learn these new skills. I need to give myself grace, gather more resources, and readjust my expectations. I also need to remember I can do hard and new things. I have proven that to myself over and over again in the entrepreneur journey. You can too, friend!

I’m honest about the gritty part of learning because I truly believe success and confidence is built, not found. My entrepreneurial journey has been scrappy and rough with lots of ups and downs, but somewhere along the way I’ve grown more comfortable with learning new things. That’s good because if I want to elevate my skills while raising the bar for myself and my clients, I have to keep stepping out and learning.

Anything from this story sound familiar? I think many of us need to check the stories we tell ourselves about failure. Instead of telling ourselves “I’m a failure, I’m not cut out for this, I should just quit,” we need to find another option. Would you ever speak to a friend or your child like that?

Neither would I.

What if we embrace everything as feedback instead? What if, when we hit the hard spots in our journey, we saw it as an opportunity to learn and grow? When we’re learning, we know and accept that there is something we don’t know, yet. We can recognize that we don’t have a certain skill, yet.

Changing our perspectives from defeat to feedback allows us to embrace learning and most importantly, it allows us to keep moving forward.

That’s not to say it’s as easy as flipping a switch. Embracing learning brings its own struggles. More on those to come 😉

For now, though, I hope you’re able to take a moment where you’ve recently felt defeat and think through how it could be feedback instead.
Double Chin Chats from the moment:

A Perspective Shift:

If you feel like sharing a recent defeat, win, or perspective change, I’d love to hear it! Comment and share your experience with me so I can learn from you as well!

Not ready to share but still want to connect? Book a free zoom consult here. I love collaborating with others on their journeys!
Cheering you on,